The past two weeks are a great example. I've been a stress case, walking around with a mental to-do list on my shoulders that felt like I was piggy-backing an elephant. A thousand worries: Did I remember to switch that utility? How will Henley adjust to living in an apartment complex? Did I save enough money to get the apartment in reasonably sufficient living condition without eating ramen at the end of the month? Is selling my car really the right decision? Is anything ever the right decision?
I can go from task to existential crisis in no time flat.
On the other hand, there is so much good happening: I'm so so excited to settle in, to decorate, to explore a new area, to have a place large enough to entertain friends.
Change, change, change. We all know I don't adjust easily. It takes me some time. It puts me off my axis.
Which is how I know it's time to kick into gratitude mode. A good friend of mine (Hi Leece!) once told me in a moment of anxiety: You are loved and surrounded and safe, my dear. (I'm paraphrasing; she always writes these poetic emails that are a little bit like Xanax in your inbox. The original message was probably much more beautiful.) It's my go-to reminder in a stressful situation. Your life might be in boxes, your dog might be barking at every new shadow, your mail may or may not make it to you for another week, you might not be able to cook for a week because you forgot to call the gas company (ooooops!), but you are loved and you are surrounded and you are safe.
One of the most precious things about moving to Chicago is that it has given me a chance to both reconnect with some of my oldest friends in the world while also making countless new connections. I've been blessed with some wonderful coworkers-turned-fast-friends, friends of old friends and friends of new friends. (Reminder: Wonderful things happen when you just relax and let people in, Bobbi.)
I'm thankful today for friends both new and old: For physically helping me move (it makes my heart so happy that it was my one of my newest friends, Whitney, and one of my oldest friends, Eric, that helped me move), for helping me strategize the decor, for helping me figure out the logistics of moving in the city, for patiently waiting it out while Meltdown Barbie was in town, for sending their love and support from afar, and for being raring and ready to celebrate with me when all is said and unpacked.
They say that illness, changing jobs, moving and dealing with a death of a loved one are among the most stressful life events one can face. I've dealt with all four in the last year of my life, and I am here to report that with a stellar support system, you can come out the other side happy and healthy.
From HI to CO, from MI and WI and MN to IL, I feel loved and surrounded and safe. Big love to all my silver and gold. You're my rocks.
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