Bobbi Lately

I've been feeling lately that I'm living more in the moment, which is the goal I've been working toward. But it makes it hard to reflect, here, on this website, built for reflecting. The two areas of my life--work and relationships--that I avoid here are the areas I've been focusing on, and I don't know how to write publicly about them (and I'm not sure that I even want to at all).

But I still want to capture snapshots of this time in my life. It's a time I fought hard for, and a time I am savoring. It's delivering a host of lessons, as always, but I may have to let some time pass and do some thinking about how, and if, I want to document them. For now, here's the minutiae, the filler, the distractions, the lately:

• Lately, I've been drinking coffee. Which basically means that I've essentially had a buzz on  during my waking hours since Tuesday. But my real confession is that I think it makes me a better person, and I sort of hate how much better I feel on the sauce. I aspire to be a "green juice gives me so much energy!" person, but right now, I'm a "they make almond milk creamers, right?" person. Never mind that I can't feel the inside of my mouth--I'm tearing through my project load, gangbusters-style.

• I kind of had an epiphany on the train:

Awww, Baby's First Sports Metaphor

• Lately, I've been itching to get out of my current sublet and into my new apartment. I can't wait to have my things and feel settled, and oddly enough, put down some roots in Chicago. Have I mentioned how psyched I am to decorate?

• I've been on a mission to try every fish taco in Chicago. Which gets, you know, expensive, so I've been trying to develop my personal best taco recipe. I've been failing, but failure can be pretty delicious, too. 

If drowning my failures in sriracha is wrong, I don't want to be right.

• I've been obsessed with The Newsroom and Orange in the New Black.

• I've been whole-heartedly enjoying my Chicago summer. Street fests, late night martinis and tarot card readings on a bar patio with new friends, reading in the park, figuring out what the hell to do with my CSA veggies. My soul is a happy soul.

Books I Might Write Someday: Volume II

You can read my first foray into literary endeavors here.

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Anxiety & Dating: If the Overthinking Doesn't Kill You, the Text Analyzing Will

From Real Estate to Rat Traps: How To Survive as a Single Twenty-Something

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"Seriously Though, Enough With the Bunnies": Tips for Raising Coping with a Spirited Dog

Becoming a Professional Bull-Shi++er: How to Write About Things You Know Nothing About

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"So You're Allergic to Potatoes?" and 14 Other Things You Don't Freaking Understand About Gluten Sensitivity

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Quoteworthy: Centeredness

When I lived in Marquette, when I was living by my roots, the wings were all I could think about--the things I wanted to do and go and be and see. And now that I am living by my wings, and putting myself in all sorts of new situations and environments, I've been closely examining my roots.

I know that I'm closer to finding a better balance, but the irony of this is not at all lost on me. In fact, it is so quintessentially Bobbi that it is rather obnoxious. File this one under #noshitSherlock. (Remember when hashtagging wasn't a thing? Neither do I.)

But then again that's what this space has always been...an attempt to even things out and be as balanced as possible. A place to document the gravitational pull between my two poles. Maybe in the end, I'll just have one thousand posts struggling to articulate the same thing: the strange, intense dichotomy that is my inner emotional life. Maybe.

On my trip home for the 4th of July, I felt for the first time in a long time that I was standing in the middle of the roots and the wings--that I had both, and what I had was everything I needed. I hugged my honorary nieces and nephews, caught up on heart-to-hearts with some of the best people I know, spent time shooting the shit in Bob's Garage-mahal, walked the shores of the lake with my mama, and watched Henley run wild on open trails. I didn't wish to be anywhere else. It was that New York feeling I had craved for over 7 years: Supported, and happy. Free, but grounded.

And then I piled back in my car with two awesome humans and three awesome puppies, and I headed back to my other home with no hesitation. I unpacked my bags, took a long walk around my neighborhood, prepped my morning smoothie, and settled in to write this post.

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According to Wikipedia, "an object at the Equator experiences a weaker gravitational pull than an object at the poles". So, the goal, it seems, really is to stay as close to the center as possible. #Noted.

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you truly love. It will not lead you astray." --Rumi

"Oh twice as much, ain't twice as good / And can't sustain like one half could / It's wanting more / That's going to send me to my knees" --John Mayer, Gravity

"Not one that I have found in all of my searching equaled the one that found me when I finally stopped." --Tyler Knott Gregson

"And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much of it was mine to keep." --Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

"You belong among the wildflowers / You belong in a boat out at sea / You belong with your love on your arm / You belong somewhere you feel free"  --Tom Petty, Wildflowers

Gravity: (n) a natural force of attraction; of grave consequence and importance

Balance: (n) a harmonious or satisfying arrangement; an influence producing equilibrium