Quoteworthy: To Love and Be Loved

A few weeks ago, during a visit to Michigan, my cousin's wife, Amy, and I made good on a plan my aunt had cooked up before she passed away. Our Auntie Vicki bravely fought breast cancer and endured both radiation and chemo, all the while never losing the sparkle in her eye and never ceasing to care for those around her with relentless and bounding love. She'd declared, with a classic mischievous glow on her face, that we'd get tattoos when she finished treatment. She wanted the word "hope" on her foot--a nod to breast cancer research.

She finished treatment alright, beat the cancer and rocked her post-Chemo hairdo...but died suddenly of other causes. It was a blow to our family that we are all still processing, still healing from. Losing two family members so suddenly is terrible enough; losing the two family members that most actively loved our family fiercely and generously was another.

Selfishly, not long after I got to Chicago, I realized that I felt like I lost two of my biggest cheerleaders right before I took what might be considered the biggest leap of my life. I felt a little lost and a little weaker for the wear.

It took me a few weeks to realize that nearly 29 years of love like that is a really lucky thing. When I looked at it like that, I felt buoyed and brave.

Then I got a Facebook message from Amy: "Tattoos when you're home?" It was time to make good.

Amy sweetly got the tattoo my aunt wanted, on her foot, with a beautiful pink ribbon worked into the script of the word 'hope'.

I chose a small heart on my wrist, to remind myself that love never really goes away. It's a reminder that I am always armed (punny!) with love, no matter where I am or what I am doing. It might also be a little reminder to myself that there is love of the romantic variety out there, and I should find it, and I should risk it, and invite it in, and let it in, and nuture it, and honor the sheer miracle that it even exists.

Is anyone surprised that even my tattoo has roots and wings?

Thanks, Amy, for your friendship and for making this happen. Especially for calling the tattoo shop, allowing me to go first, and not thinking (or at least saying) I was crazy for being incredibly anxious about something that didn't really hurt and took two minutes. You impressed the hell out of me because yours was a lot bigger! :)

"To love and be loved--this on earth is the highest bliss." --Unknown

"My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you. And wants the same things, too." --Rascal Flatts

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family." --Mother Teresa

“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”  --Frederick Buechner

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; Loving someone deeply gives you courage." --Lao Tzo

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could." --Louise Erdrich

Love (n): unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another; deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person

Surround (n): to be all around; to encircle; to be a member of an entourage