No? Well allow me to quote myself: "...what struck me is how mentally engaged you need to be. I swear, when I am on the boat, I am too busy thinking about where my hands should be, whether I’m keeping up with the pace, or where my oar is to think about anything else. Two hours where I’m not thinking about work, relationships, money, responsibilities, world peace, or the apocalypse? Sign me up, Sally."
Some of my friends talk about how meditative a run can be for them. That is not what running does for me.
This is what my first round of intervals sounds like in my head:
Okay, doing good. I love running. Chest up, shoulders back and down.
Am I putting equal weight on my right foot? I think so, but I can never tell.
Remember to breathe. Breathe in, in, in. Out, out, out, out.
Seriously, that was only 30 seconds?
Don't look at the time.
I'm bored.
Think about something else.
Think about shoes. Think about clothes.
Play that game where you think about the prettiest dress ever.
I'm hungry.
I'm sweaty.
My ear phones are going to fall out.
I really need to send that email first thing in the morning.
I should stop and set an alarm to remind myself.
Shut up and run.
Ugh. Seriously. Only 1 minute?
I wonder if I'm a super loud runner. I wonder if everyone can hear me running?
I think I can hear myself running.
That guy is going 5.8, so I'm pretty much beating him.
Yeahhhh, 50 Cent. I like this one.What up, gangsta?
It would be so like me to start rapping out loud right now IF ONLY I COULD BREATHE.
Breathe in, in, in. Out, out, out, out.
I think I'm running really loud right now?
I want a margarita.
I want a cupcake.
I bet I could make a vegan cupcake that tasted like margaritas.
What kind of flour would I use?
I should buy a book of riddles to read before I run so my mind is occupied.
I'm bored.
Oh man, that guy is going 7 now. He's totally beating me.
Screw you, guy, you and your stupid man metabolism and man quads.
I like your t-shirt, though.
Think about something else.
Do NOT look at the time. Seriously, Bobbi Marie, do not--
okay, only 2 more minutes left. It could be worse.
Oh shit, it's definitely 3 minutes left.
I think I can do it.
You know you can do it.
I'm thirsty.
I should probably buy new running pants to reward myself.
I like Target. Maybe I really should open up a store account. 5% off running pants every day!
Shoulders back and down.
In, in, in, in. Out, out, out, out.
This is my reward. I feel excellent.
I feel like I'm going to die.
I think I need to stop.
I need to stop.
Keep going. I'm totally fine.
Oh seriously Eminem, a freaking slow beat NOW?
[Trying to hit Next whilst running] Oh, I'm going to die, I'm going to fall and die and 7 man is going to laugh and point.
Yeahhhh G Unit.
That's the perfect beat. Thanks, Pandora.
OWWW my shins.
60 seconds more.
WHY DID YOU LOOK!
Think about purple skinny jeans, think about Jake Gyllenhaal, think about Europe.
My hair is falling down. It's falling. down. now.
Try not to think.
What else is there to think about?
Freaking 30 seconds, seriously whose idea was this?
I hate this. Freaking 5k my tush. I prefer the couch.
15. more. seconds.
In, in, in, in. Out, out, out, out.
WHY ISN'T IT VIBRATING!!!
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Australian Lady.
I'm dying. And my hair is falling dowwwwn.
[Vibrates. "Walk," said in the calmest Australian voice ever.]
FREAKING FINALLLY. Down down down down aahhhhh 3.5.
My calves are so TIGHT.
I am the queen of the world. I conquer all.
Even walking sucks.
Of course this repeats and I only become more more neurotic as the intervals go on.
This is all to say that "training" is going as well as can be expected. My body is keeping up and my mind, well, my mind is winning the race.
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